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I watched with delight at the recent two episodes : ‘The Triplets are coming’. I love a good tug on the heart strings and if it involves animals, children or babies, even better. The sight of a trailer for a programme about births is enough to make my partner groan in dismay about the likelihood of my reminiscing and ‘reliving’ every tawdry aspect of my own births, followed by copious amounts of tears. Its not without just cause, as I am a mummy to twins and a singleton and have experienced a range of births and ante/post natal experiences.
Witnessing the emotional and heartbreaking journey of the triplets and twin parents is a reminder of what a privileged experience I had in my twin pregnancy. There were times where I was uncomfortable, exhausted and terribly worried about the birthplan but in hindsight, I had a smooth and effortless conception, pregnancy and birth.
It was only when I entered a twin club that I acknowledged this of course, after listening to stories of early deliveries and neonatal babies. However in my small world I had a horrible time in my elective caesarian, preferable only because I was two weeks overdue, massive, and worried sick about my options. My latest obstetrician ( I had a different one every time I went, and I went alot!) at a local hospital advised me that I had several options, following the diagnosis of an engaged twin and a breech twin, with a range of doctors on duty, all following different approaches.
Options:
1. I may go into labour, one twin is born naturally and one is left breech, the doctor on duty only delivers breech through c-section, so they would then c-section the second.
2. I may go into the labour and the doctor on duty births twin 1 and then as they are trained in cephalic manipulation, they will attempt to turn twin 2 and birth that naturally. If that fails they will c-section the second.
3. I may go into labour, this doctor on duty is trained to deliver breech babies naturally and would happily attempt to deliver. If that failed they would c-section.
4. Book an elective c-section. Avoid all of the above.
So you can imagine that a nervous first time mum may indeed elect to book a caesarean, regardless of whether they went through 9 months with the aim of doing it all naturally on the advice of midwives. Anyway, for all my ‘earth mother’ intentions, I folded and gave in to a highly medical-ised birth that made me feel dreadful during and after, took 6 weeks until I could physically move or sit in cars without agony, and took about 12 months until I felt ‘recovered’.
You see, one whiff of a birth programme and I have already relived my whole birth experience! This is always followed by the tears, remember. This programme was no exception and I cried buckets. I can relate to the fear, the elation, the sinking feeling every-time you walk in for a scan, just in case a heart beat has disappeared. The sheer terror of the logistics of equipment. How will life be after birth? Every member of medical staff you meet reminds you that you are ‘high-risk’. I actually resented this by the time I completed my 9 months of easy-peasy carrying two babies whose birth weights were the size of normal babies. So it is easy to forget that not everyone has it so straight-forward. I memorised every single condition that could affect my pregnancy and to this day I am supremely knowledgeable in twin-to-twin transfusion and a host of other issues that could end a twin pregnancy. My pregnancy hypochondria became an obsession, which wasn’t helped by the constant monitoring and scanning by doctors, nurses and midwives. It felt so unneccesary to us and it is only when watching this heart-warming and heartbreaking programme in equal measure that I realised exactly why the medical profession watch a twin or triplet pregnancy so closely. For all its increase in regularity (twin pregnancies seem to be on the rise), a multiple pregnancy still remains a condition that has to be carefully watched to ensure the two healthy babies we were so blessed with.
Someone once told me that twin parents are chosen for a reason and that if anyone could cope with it, then I could. Amidst all the negative and discouraging comments I received from people trying to incite panic in me, I held onto that thought very tight throughout my pregnancy. Watching the programme confirmed this philosophy. They were all such relaxed, kind people. I have no doubts that they will cope. Twin mummy-hood is precious, enjoyable, supremely exhausting, and yet thoroughly rewarding. Nothing can replace that moment when they place a baby in each arm and four eyes look deep into yours earnestly. Twice the nappies and expense but twice the love, twice the pleasure. Every milestone twice, every kiss twice, every gurgle and chuckle is multiplied by two. I miss those twin mummy baby days and I wish I’d had more energy and time to enjoy every second. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.